The Impact of Kindness in Our Lives

It was a dark and gloomy Friday night in October; I found myself wandering on a dimly lit path in a park in Georgia.

Note: This article is adapted from author Heidi Kasevich, in which she talks to us about the importance of showing kindness to others.

I began to wonder, "I'm a resident of New York, so what am I doing in a Camry in this forest, guided by a GPS that insists on leading me in vague directions?"

I was there as a proud mother, accompanying my college graduate son who was qualified for a regional competition in a remote area outside Atlanta. I was there because I carried the love for this young man in my heart as strongly as I did on the day he was born 21 years ago. Since then, our lives have been filled with moments of excitement and tranquility as we navigated through an open-minded world.

The day of the competition was wonderful. As my son and I got into the rental car to head back to the airport, his somewhat sarcastic question amused me, "What led you to rent this car? It's not like you."

I hesitated for a moment, questioning my decision, and wondered, "Aren't I a strong woman who knows what she's doing and can defend her choices?" That comment brought back memories of the interaction I had with the car rental employee the previous night and my work in promoting a culture of kindness in schools. Before I could respond, my son had already fallen into a deep sleep.

So, I remained with my thoughts. I remembered the rental car employee's sad-toned remark, "You can choose any car in this row." It was perplexing yet oddly enjoyable. As I observed his feelings, I asked him, "If you were me, which car would you choose? You seem to know a lot about cars." In reality, his expression seemed burdened by work, not earning a significant wage, and needing a break.

He shifted from a frowning face to a smile and replied, "If I were you, I'd choose a black Camry, because I like larger cars that don't consume much fuel." I responded, "Thank you very much for your advice; you're truly an expert," which seemed to genuinely please him, even though the Camry was definitely not my first choice.

Truth be told, I feel more comfortable driving smaller cars. I had been contemplating that little red car at the end of the row, but I thanked that employee. His suggestion lingered with me, and I hoped that my small act might have made a difference in his day.

I work with "Quiet School Ambassadors" to promote a culture of kindness in schools. Kindness culture, as we define it, is a culture in which every member has the ability to interact with others sincerely and empathetically, summoning the courage to be "genuine with their feelings" and to put themselves in another person's shoes.

Developing this blend of self-awareness and perspective-building requires an understanding of the power of mood states and the methods by which personality patterns shape how we communicate and make decisions.

As an introverted person, how can you empathize with an extroverted person who seeks social stimulation as an energy booster, when you yearn for the opposite? How can an extroverted person empathize with an introverted person who needs time to evaluate options before making decisions, when they tend to make quick decisions themselves? The key lies in understanding the concepts of self and other from a mood state perspective.

Additionally, this work in schools requires dedicating a lot of time to promote three core personal strengths in our students, which when combined, encourage them to engage in kind actions:

• Mutual self-regulation, allowing individuals to respond to others in socially appropriate ways.
• Social and emotional intelligence, which involves the ability to understand others' emotions and use this understanding to guide decisions and actions.
• Gratitude, which involves expressing appreciation for the benefits received from others and a willingness to share.

Now is the time for kindness and benevolence. A study conducted by Arizona State University suggests that parents must prioritize teaching kindness before academic achievement for the well-being and long-term success of their children.

Fortunately, a Sesame Street survey reveals that most parents truly believe kindness is more important than academic success. While contemplating the fact that these parents also expressed concern that the world might be a harsh place for their children, my son woke up, and I said to him, "I rented this car as an act of kindness that I offered that day," which truly made me happy.